[ they're in the same boat, at least, because as it turns out, tseng finds it equally complicated to try to explain his own motives. there are layers to the thing, but after a long pause where he tries to pare it down to the core, what he comes back with is this: ]
I know that you can take care of yourself, but I hoped I could make it easier, if only by a little.
[Sasuke hesitates as well, reading the kind intention in those words. It isn't that he would try to turn it away, but with it being left unspoken, there's still something he needs to determine.]
It's not because we have sex. Is it? Because that isn't something I do as a transaction. I know others will for the sake of the game, and that's fine, but I don't if I can help it.
[ sweet shiva's frigid tits. tseng also has nothing against sex work, but he loathes the idea of making sasuke feel like their relationship, such that it is, is nothing more than a transaction. ]
No. No, of course not.
[ then, several long seconds of typing bubble before tseng finally commits. it's embarrassing to admit, but he would rather embarrass himself and make this clear than allow sasuke to labor under a misunderstanding. ]
As you have likely understood, I am not often in a position where it is safe for me to care about people. I have very little experience with it, and my inexperience makes me clumsy and short-sighted.
I enjoy sex with you very much. I also care for you and want you to be comfortable and safe. Those two things are perhaps intertwined, but I am not paying you for sex. I do not think of this as transactional, and I'm sorry that I made you think that I did.
[Ah. Sasuke feels, at first, silly for jumping to the conclusion that he did. But there's something in reading those words in Tseng's message that draws warmth into his chest, a sentimentality he is more familiar with by now. And more accustomed to handling when it does arise.]
It's all right to be inexperienced. I am, too. For a long time it was dangerous for me to be emotional. It's a curse my clan carries with them in their blood.
Acts of service. When you do something for someone else not with any expectation to have it returned or reciprocated — you're doing it because you care. [Love languages!! Look, he's learning.] It means a lot to me. You do make me feel safe. I didn't think I would find anyone else who did, especially in a place like this.
I had to use some of it to pay off a debt from property damage I caused in the basement recently. So, thank you for your help.
[ it is... a lot, to read that message. not in a bad way, far from it, but a lot of emotion, more than tseng is used to experiencing or to feeling directed toward him. it touches something inside him that he'd thought long defunct, to know that sasuke can understand his haphazard attempts at affection.
it also makes him laugh, abrupt and a little bemused, when he gets to the end of the text and reads about property damage. ]
I'm also inexperienced in expressing myself, and... I am finding it unexpectedly difficult to articulate what I feel right now, so I hope you'll forgive me for being brief: You're welcome. It was, and is, my pleasure.
I'm almost afraid to ask, but for what reason did you cause property damage in the basement?
[He takes the cue and doesn't press further. It's enough to know that the gesture was done out of well-meaning care — and to sit in that feeling, and to feel that it won't cripple him. He's glad he met Tseng.]
There's someone in the resort I don't see eye to eye with. I let myself... get out of control in my response to him. No one was seriously injured, but I still regret my reaction. I don't intend to let it happen again.
But we caused a lot of damage. It isn't the first time the resort has fined me, though it seems disproportionately due to my rank since everything repaired itself overnight.
I'm glad that I could be of assistance, even obliquely.
I can't fault you for finding someone so objectionable it makes you destroy the basement, but you are likely correct that the fines will be heavier the lower your rank, so I agree that being strategic about potential future property damage would be the wisest choice.
[ he's gently teasing... just a little bit. a tiny tiny bit. ]
[ still teasing, but he also means it. sasuke does, in fact, know him in some ways better than anybody else here does, when it comes to things about tseng's personality and his past. ]
I'm not sure I can help with the fighting part--I get the sense that when you go all-out, you're much stronger than I am. But if it does happen again, I can at least help with the cleanup.
The damage wasn't even permanent. I'm not used to that. Normally if I destroy something it stays that way. [when your powers are like natural disaster level that reshape geography] Besides, power is relative. I suspect there are things you can do far better than me.
It isn't troubling me if I'm asking you directly, Sasuke.
[ please trouble him. he would love to be troubled.
also, damage does have a way of being permanent even when it isn't natural disaster level that reshapes geography, so tseng's mind doesn't immediately go there, even if he would probably conclude it to be true if he spent some time thinking along those lines. ]
Do you? Without access to materia, I have no power beyond that of a normal human man.
Have you ever heard of taijutsu? It's a martial art, and those of my world practice it as a way not to rely strictly on their chakra. It would make us an even match, so I'll limit myself to it when we spar.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ehehe
Yes.
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I didn't think you would admit to it so quickly.
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Why?
The money, I mean. Not telling me the truth.
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I know that you can take care of yourself, but I hoped I could make it easier, if only by a little.
I apologize for making you uncomfortable.
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[Sasuke hesitates as well, reading the kind intention in those words. It isn't that he would try to turn it away, but with it being left unspoken, there's still something he needs to determine.]
It's not because we have sex. Is it? Because that isn't something I do as a transaction. I know others will for the sake of the game, and that's fine, but I don't if I can help it.
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No. No, of course not.
[ then, several long seconds of typing bubble before tseng finally commits. it's embarrassing to admit, but he would rather embarrass himself and make this clear than allow sasuke to labor under a misunderstanding. ]
As you have likely understood, I am not often in a position where it is safe for me to care about people. I have very little experience with it, and my inexperience makes me clumsy and short-sighted.
I enjoy sex with you very much. I also care for you and want you to be comfortable and safe. Those two things are perhaps intertwined, but I am not paying you for sex. I do not think of this as transactional, and I'm sorry that I made you think that I did.
no subject
It's all right to be inexperienced. I am, too. For a long time it was dangerous for me to be emotional. It's a curse my clan carries with them in their blood.
Acts of service. When you do something for someone else not with any expectation to have it returned or reciprocated — you're doing it because you care. [Love languages!! Look, he's learning.] It means a lot to me. You do make me feel safe. I didn't think I would find anyone else who did, especially in a place like this.
I had to use some of it to pay off a debt from property damage I caused in the basement recently. So, thank you for your help.
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it also makes him laugh, abrupt and a little bemused, when he gets to the end of the text and reads about property damage. ]
I'm also inexperienced in expressing myself, and... I am finding it unexpectedly difficult to articulate what I feel right now, so I hope you'll forgive me for being brief: You're welcome. It was, and is, my pleasure.
I'm almost afraid to ask, but for what reason did you cause property damage in the basement?
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There's someone in the resort I don't see eye to eye with. I let myself... get out of control in my response to him. No one was seriously injured, but I still regret my reaction. I don't intend to let it happen again.
But we caused a lot of damage. It isn't the first time the resort has fined me, though it seems disproportionately due to my rank since everything repaired itself overnight.
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I'm glad that I could be of assistance, even obliquely.
I can't fault you for finding someone so objectionable it makes you destroy the basement, but you are likely correct that the fines will be heavier the lower your rank, so I agree that being strategic about potential future property damage would be the wisest choice.
[ he's gently teasing... just a little bit. a tiny tiny bit. ]
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[Teasing back...]
It was stupid of me. I know. I don't intend to let it happen again, but sometimes this resort has a way of making our intentions difficult to keep.
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[ still teasing, but he also means it. sasuke does, in fact, know him in some ways better than anybody else here does, when it comes to things about tseng's personality and his past. ]
I'm not sure I can help with the fighting part--I get the sense that when you go all-out, you're much stronger than I am. But if it does happen again, I can at least help with the cleanup.
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I wouldn't want to trouble you.
The damage wasn't even permanent. I'm not used to that. Normally if I destroy something it stays that way. [when your powers are like natural disaster level that reshape geography] Besides, power is relative. I suspect there are things you can do far better than me.
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[ please trouble him. he would love to be troubled.
also, damage does have a way of being permanent even when it isn't natural disaster level that reshapes geography, so tseng's mind doesn't immediately go there, even if he would probably conclude it to be true if he spent some time thinking along those lines. ]
Do you? Without access to materia, I have no power beyond that of a normal human man.
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I've met leaders who were ordinary civilians yet their decisions still had an influence over people. It was rarer in my world, but still possible.
I used to think physical strength was all that mattered, but it's not.
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You're right, it isn't. Physical strength is only one kind of strength among many.
Speaking of which, I believe I still owe you a spar.
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Have you ever heard of taijutsu? It's a martial art, and those of my world practice it as a way not to rely strictly on their chakra. It would make us an even match, so I'll limit myself to it when we spar.
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[ why does tseng find that charming. 🤡 ]
I'm looking forward to it.