[Ah. They've been honest with each other to this point, so he shouldn't let this stop him now, even if he's not sure what Tseng's reaction will be. The man has not responded negatively to him so far, but still...]
That sort of act — I struggle with it on my own. I'm not accustomed to giving myself pleasure.
[Only pain, where he used to believe strength lived.]
[ not so far, and not now, either. tseng reads the message, lets his brows furrow briefly—not in pity, but in understanding of the kind of life that would lead someone to be unsure how to pleasure themselves—and then texts back. ]
That's all right. Tell me about it if you do--but regardless, I intend to make you come as often as you'll let me.
I've been taking care of it. Trying, at least. It turns out that orchids are difficult to preserve, so I thought I should at least try before I throw in the towel.
I'm not sure. I had the opportunity to learn, but never bothered, much for the same reason I never bothered to raise a pet or make friends: they would only have been things someone else would have to care for when I die.
[ there is, honestly, a moment where tseng considers not answering—but despite himself, he understands that avoiding the truth doesn't make it less true. ]
Her name is Aerith. She was here briefly, for just under two months. She has a deep love of flowers and a talent for gardening. The orchid was a housewarming gift to me, and, I suspect, her way of telling me to decorate a little.
I do try to keep myself busy, but I can only spend so many hours in the casino before it becomes obvious I'm counting cards. After that, I often find myself with free time.
It is difficult, yes. I am very used to being occupied for nearly every hour of the day. Coming here and finding myself with so little to do was an adjustment.
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That sort of act — I struggle with it on my own. I'm not accustomed to giving myself pleasure.
[Only pain, where he used to believe strength lived.]
However, if I do... I'll tell you.
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That's all right. Tell me about it if you do--but regardless, I intend to make you come as often as you'll let me.
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Then, I'll hold you to that. Sir.
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You still have four questions left.
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[doki... he loves a competent man.]
What did you do with the orchid?
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I can understand that. For a long time, I didn't care about what was going to happen to me in the future. I expected I would die.
But, while you're here, that won't be the case. Will you consider it now?
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You don't have to answer this if you don't want to. But who gave it to you?
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Her name is Aerith. She was here briefly, for just under two months. She has a deep love of flowers and a talent for gardening. The orchid was a housewarming gift to me, and, I suspect, her way of telling me to decorate a little.
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[An attempt to soften what must be sore.]
I'm glad you kept it alive.
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I don't know how to decorate, though. So I think I'll start with the orchid and see where I go from there.
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Do I have any questions left?
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Is it difficult? Being away from your responsibilities.
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It is difficult, yes. I am very used to being occupied for nearly every hour of the day. Coming here and finding myself with so little to do was an adjustment.
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[Like being inside a very large cage.]
You should be careful cheating like that. What if you're caught?
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